09 Jan The Invisible Man January

“I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me.”  Prologue: “Invisible Man” by Ralph Ellison 1952

Between 2001 and 2014 I lead volunteer groups from my home in Anderson, Indiana to New York City. Sometimes several trips a year. These trips were designed to participate in urban ministry with the homeless population NYC and parts of New Jersey. It was a training ground to prepare people to work with the homeless in their own community. I loved this ministry and over the course of those fourteen years lead dozens of trips, visiting some of the worst neighborhoods in New York.

One afternoon, while working at a ministry in Harlem, I had an interesting “interaction” with a gentleman who appeared to be in his forties. ”Charlie,” I came to understand, had spent the majority of his life living on the street. I learned this not from him but from a man named Jim who had spent his lifetime on and off the street as well. Jim said “Charlie don’t speak to nobody… he thinks he’s invisible.”

A year later, while doing an outreach in the South Bronx a friend named Deacon Jose who lived, worked and ministered to the homeless in his neighborhood in the Bronx told me that he saw people withdraw from society so completely that they had lost all interest in human interaction. Their withdraw was so complete they began to question their very own existence. “What would happen” Deacon Jose began, “if you live in the same place your whole life, sat on the same corner every day, and no one spoke to you. Ever?” I heard a psychologist suggest a person can be described as invisible if others refuse to see him or routinely overlook him. This sense of invisibility was not all that uncommon, especially when coupled with substance abuse and some degree of mental illness.

I know this is hard to imagine but it is real. In the Fall of 2018 I noticed a man sitting in front of the Christian Center Chapel. After seeing him a few times I decided to talk to him and hear his story. I walked down the street, sat next to him and introduced myself. After a few of the usual pleasantries I received no response from him. After a long pause he slowly turned his head and looked me right in the eyes and said nothing. Not a word. We sat in silence eye-to-eye for several more seconds and finally he said “do you see me?”

Later as I was thinking about this interaction I began to wonder if we had become so busy with our lives that we have begun to shut out everyone around us. Is our fear that the needs of others may intrude on the comforts of our lives, demanding action from us?

A few weeks ago, just days before Christmas I was on a mad dash to get errands done and literally ran from place to place. I was the guy who left his car running while he ran in to the post office, Walgreens and the local printer. While heading into Kroger to buy gift cards I noticed a man shuffling towards me. I recognized him as a gentleman who I often see hanging out in front of the library. I was whispering under my breath “please don’t stop me…” and with a mere wave of the hand and no eye contact I entered the store. After picking out my items I stood in line feeling the guilt of doing something I have criticized others for doing. After checking out I went outside and looked for him. He was gone. An opportunity to show just a little bit of Jesus to a fellow human had vanished. Gone. I blew it.

As we enter this New Year, this new decade, let’s try to make this a habit to be more aware, more present, more compassionate and more patient to those around us. Especially, those who struggle with poverty, hunger and homelessness. You know, those who often feel invisible.

I’ll try to do better this year and I hope you will too.

Happy New Year Friends. I pray God will work in amazing ways through your life this year and beyond. God Bless.

Rob Spaulding

January 6, 2020